In that moment I understood that the cruelest words in the universe are if only.

Every part of my body felt electric. My chest ached and my head throbbed with the great terrible limitless possibility of the morning, and when it came, the sky was washed white, everything was new, and I hadn’t slept at all.

You closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too — even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.

I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am.

And for a moment, I understand that I have friends on this lonely path; that sometimes your place is not something you find, but something you have when you need it.

I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to love well sometime in the future. This is a terrible way to think. It is no way to live, to wait to love.

One day I will forgive you; until then there are scabs everywhere that you have touched me.

All the other children at my school are stupid. Except I’m not meant to call them stupid, even though this is what they are.

I don’t know what they are called, the spaces between seconds– but I think of you always in those intervals.